today & my feelings
i don't know who still blogs or reads mine anymore but, my sister.n.law A & I seem to be having a similar week. i know we all go in spurts about life & our feelings but, life is not EASY nor perfect. In fact, sometimes it can be really hard. i have a hard time expressing my feeling or sharing them but, i think it helps to write it out. For what ever reason this time of year.. is hard for me. Especially the upcoming holiday. Mothers Day.
My mom knows this. she knows that i love her. she knows that i would do anything for her. She knows the kids love her. she knows she is loved by all.
she knows that her trials & disease cause us both pain.
it is hard period.
But, then i look at the picture above & i love being a mother.
it truly is the hardest but, most rewarding job ever.
Then i know you keep enduring to the end.
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i sometimes let the small things get to me the most. Like my house. i have OCD i will admit. i like things a certain way. i like things clean.
but, with a 14 month, a 4 year old, a 8 year old & a 9 year old....
Yes, not happening. there is toys everywhere, dishes staring at me, always laundry, dinner to do, & homework....
Some days just seem so long.
Then the one that stares me right in the face everyday is the rest of my baby weight.
tears are shed on this one. i have tried so hard. i know... keep trying. don't give up... i know there is a time & place for everything....
As I sat down last night feeling pretty sorry for myself, I somehow knew that everything would be OK. In the late hours of the night, as I sat there holding my soundly sleeping baby girl [yes i got her out of her crib to snuggle with her] I realized that everything that had been overwhelming my thoughts didn't even matter. I would go to sleep, and wake up knowing that today is a whole new day.
Yes, today is a whole new day. Marlee may or may not have the Chicken Pox??? guess what???,, she will be o.k.
I have NOT found my wedding rings yet... but, well maybe this one still makes me sick ;)))
The thing is....I have the opportunity to make today better.
So, Here is to a better day!!!!!!!!
P.S. i love this saying...
i truly believe this!
